When I was in Yeshiva, I was quite jealous of a close friend of mine. He seemed to doze off when we studied Talmud, but somehow the entire discussion found its way into his brain. I was working to understand every line. He seemed to have eaten the information for breakfast.
It was a little annoying. :-)
And it wasn’t only about learning. As someone who feels things passionately, I also envied people who seemed naturally calm. No misplaced anger. No impatience. How did they do that?
As I've grown older, I've come to appreciate that Hashem has a unique plan for me. The talents He gave me and the challenges He placed before me are part of that plan.
I still have things to work on. Apparently, growing older doesn’t automatically take care of those. But I spend less time wishing I had someone else’s personality and more time taking responsibility for my own.
Hard work is a Torah value. And when something comes easily, the question becomes: Where am I being asked to stretch?
In the opening of this week's Parsha, we read of the acquisition of the Mearat Hamachpelah, the Cave of Machpelah in Hebron, where our forefathers and mothers are buried. Avraham approaches Efron the Hittite to purchase the cave. Efron offers to give it to Avraham as a gift. Avraham refuses and insists on paying the full price.
The commentators tell us that Avraham had a right to the land because of Hashem's promise to him. At the very least, he could have accepted it as a gift. Yet, Avraham pays in full. He wanted the acquisition to be complete, without Efron retaining any claim, even the satisfaction of saying, “I gave that to Avraham.”
There is something deeply personal in this story.
Each of us has our own portion of the world to influence and transform. Our character. Our home. Our relationships. The people and responsibilities Hashem has placed in our lives.
Sometimes we look at our portion and wish it came with fewer complications. A little more patience. An easier relationship. A more responsive community. And perhaps someone else to handle the fundraising. :-)
Avraham teaches us the value of investing ourselves fully in what is ours to do. There is a depth we reach through effort, through showing up again, through working on the same character trait long after we thought we would have mastered it.
That work can be holy even when it feels ordinary. Pausing before responding. Giving someone our full attention. Making the call we have been avoiding. Trying again after a disappointment.
We don’t need to go looking for challenges. Life provides enough of those. But when they come, we can meet them with the understanding that meaningful work is taking place, even before we see the results.
And when something does come easily, we can be grateful for the gift and ask what more we can do with it. Who can we help? What can we learn? Where can we grow?
I’m still impressed by my friend’s ability to learn in his sleep. But I’ve come to value what happens when I stay awake and do the work.
Good Shabbos!
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